


The Fire and the Thorn

by Scribo_Vivere



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accidental Plot, Addicted Dean Winchester (But Not The Way You Think), Angst, Based on a song, Begging Dean Winchester, Benny Is A Mess, Benny Lafitte Takes Care of Dean Winchester, Blood Drinking, Broken Hearts, Chaptered, Dean Gives Everything for Benny, Dean Winchester Loves Benny Lafitte, Dean is a mess, Denial of Feelings, Desire, Emotional, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Fire, Grief/Mourning, Human/Vampire Relationship, Hunt Gone Wrong, Hurt Dean Winchester, I Made Myself Cry, I Ship It, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I have too many tags, Internal Conflict, Lovesick Benny Lafitte, Lovesick Dean Winchester, Lust, M/M, Murder, Mutual Pining, Near Death Experiences, Ocean, Ocean Sex, Okay I Think That Covers All The Tags, Pain, Rage, Resolved Sexual Tension (eventually), Sadness, Sexual Tension, Switching, Tears, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Threats of Violence, Vampire Benny Lafitte, Vampire Bites, Vampire Sex, What Have I Done, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:40:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28163334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scribo_Vivere/pseuds/Scribo_Vivere
Summary: It was supposed to be a simple hunt. But Dean should have known better - after all, things between him and Benny have never been simple.
Relationships: Benny Lafitte/Dean Winchester
Comments: 10
Kudos: 28





	1. No One Could Save Me But You

**Author's Note:**

> Since my semester is FINALLY almost over, I bring you my first whack at the Denny pairing. Any thoughts/constructive criticism, etc., will be very much appreciated. Kudos and comments feed the muses. Oh, and wine. 
> 
> Song used as inspiration: "Wicked Game" by Ursine Vulpine feat. Annaca. (I refuse to disclose how many times I listened to it on repeat while writing this, LOL.)

Benny had caught wind of a nest of vampires in Ogunquit, Maine, and so he had docked them at Perkins Cove the evening before. As the sun disappeared below the horizon the following night, Dean followed close behind the vampire as the two slipped silently through a thin veil of fog and rolling mist on the beach, the sound of the waves crashing ashore their only companion.

“Where are these bastards located exactly?” Dean murmured, and Benny’s Cajun drawl floated to him on the chill breeze. 

“It’s October, so there ain’t gonna be nobody here but the regulars that stay,” he said softly. “An’ we gotta watch our asses. Rumor’s been the nest is the biggest on the East Coast. Hideout’s jus’ up ahead.”

The ground was becoming rocky and uneven, and Dean realized they were reaching an incline. After a few minutes, a derelict building appeared, long since left to time and nature. Benny stopped, his hand tight around his machete, and looked at Dean.

“You ready for this?”

Dean gave him an incredulous look. “You’re seriously asking me that? You did keep count of all the vampires I killed in Purgatory, right?”

Benny snorted. “I was a lil’ too busy tryin’ not to get killed.”

Dean rolled his eyes as they crept toward the ramshackle cottage. “If you’re that worried about my safety, I can always go back and wait for you.”

“Aw, where’s the fun in that?” Benny chuckled. “You wanna make this interesting, we can count sliced heads. Jus’ like ol’ times, eh, brother?”

They were close enough to see the years of grime on the dark windows, and suddenly Benny’s playfulness disappeared as he whispered, “Stay low. They got lookouts.”

“How can you tell?” 

Benny shot Dean a serious look. “I know my own kind. Ain’t no sane vamp nest gonna let hunters get the drop on ‘em if they can avoid it.”

Dean fell to a crouch, scrambling after Benny as he slipped through the tall sea grass quickly. 

“My knees aren’t going to thank you for this,” he muttered, as the toe of his boot met a rock, nearly sending him flying and forcing Dean to twist sideways in a very uncomfortable way. “I’m getting too old to be crawling around. Wait for me, would you?”

There was silence, and the hunter’s gut suddenly flipped over unpleasantly. “Benny?” he hissed. “Benny, where the fuck are you?”

The feel of an unmistakable knife against his throat made itself known moments before a low, sultry voice was heard.

“Not yet, Ambrose.”

The vampire behind Dean sounded put out as he spoke. “But we have him.”

“And I have something greater. Bring him to me.”

The vampire quickly removed Dean’s machete and threw it aside. “Move. And don’t try anything stupid,” came a growled command.

“You know, when this is over, my friend and I are going to really enjoy some slicing and dicing,” Dean spat, as he was forced forward. When he looked up, his breath caught.

Benny knelt between four vampires, bruised, battered, and barely alert, but alive. A woman toyed with a long, curved blade, her dark eyes gleaming as she looked at Dean.

“Your friend has courage to bring a human with him on a vampire hunt.”

“Let him go,” Dean snapped, “or I swear I will kill every one of you and burn this goddamn hut to the ground.”

She only laughed, the sound like sweetened poison. “Oh, please. You honestly think my family is made up of only the six of us?”

Teeming shadows moved in the dark, and Dean swallowed as he realized they were surrounded by more vamps than likely even Benny had anticipated. A fast count left him with at least twenty, not including the four that had Benny, and the hunter’s heart sank. 

“I think it’s time we negotiate,” the female purred.  
  


“Don’ give ‘em nothin’,” Benny croaked, and she whirled around, grabbing him by the collar of his pea coat. 

“No one asked for your opinion,” she hissed, and landed a right hook that set fresh blood to oozing from Benny’s lip. At the smell, the vampires inched closer, hungry growls rumbling in their throats. 

“We haven’t eaten well in weeks, you see,” she said darkly. “Ever since this little town decided to close up shop for the season, we’ve lost our prime targets. But imagine my surprise when I heard that Dean Winchester and his vampire friend were coming to hunt us down.” Her gaze was like ice.

“I’d like nothing more than to tear you limb from limb. But first, I think I’ll work on destroying what you hold dear.”

Before Dean could say anything, she’d plunged a smaller knife into Benny’s ribs, ripping it out cruelly as he howled in agony.

“Bitch!” Dean snarled, and lunged forward on a surge of adrenaline. He was brought up short, however, as her larger blade cut into Benny’s neck hard enough to draw a trail of blood that slid below his collar.

“Do it,” she hissed. “I’d love the honor of being the one to kill the great Benjamin Lafitte. Oh, I know who he is,” she spat, at the look on Dean’s face. “You don’t murder your maker and your own kind without landing on the hit list of every nest the world over.”

Dean locked eyes with Benny, and in his friend’s gaze saw everything he didn’t want to acknowledge. They were outnumbered, and the only way the encounter was going to end was in death. 

_Go_ , Benny’s eyes pleaded.

In a moment of decision spurred by long-buried emotion, Dean said hoarsely, “Take me.”

She cocked her head, looking between them both, until finally a gleeful understanding dawned upon her face.

“You love him.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Dean replied tersely. “This is literally a one-time offer.”

She smiled, releasing Benny. “You’re right. But I’m going to sweeten the pot.” 

Dean gasped in surprise and pain as she pulled him to her faster than the eye could see, cold steel slicing deep into his arm. Blood bubbled up immediately.

“Either he drinks, or you both die.”

Dean hesitated too long, and she growled low in warning. Defeatedly, Dean knelt before Benny, and both horror and fear sparked to life in Benny's eyes. His throat worked.

“No. Brother, no,” Benny begged. "Don' make me-"

“I can’t lose you,” Dean replied thickly. “They’ll make me watch, and I don’t...everything’s gone wrong because of me. You have to.”

“I’m not gonna - it’ll kill you,” Benny said desperately, and Dean smiled sadly. 

“We’re both going to die anyway. I’d rather my death be at your hands than theirs.” He held out his arm, trembling only a little. "It's okay," he murmured.

Dean’s pulse was strong and steady, and the scent...Benny swallowed. It was all around him, in his nostrils and his lungs, and he couldn’t keep his fangs from slipping down despite the way his heart was breaking.

“Please, man.” Tears slowly brimmed in Dean's eyes. "It has to be you.” In a whisper, he added, “It’s always been you.”

Benny looked around them in a panic, but there was no way out - only the path to hell he’d feared all along.

Carefully, the vampire pulled Dean forward. “I’m so sorry, _sha_ ,” he choked, and then there was only the blood.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Strange What Desire Will Make Foolish People Do

Dean squinted against the bright sunlight that sparkled on the waves, each ebb and flow of the tide caressing his feet. The sea stretched on endlessly before him, her gentle roaring sound calming him in a way that nothing in his life had ever truly done. He could taste salt on his lips when he licked them, and a slow smile spread across his face.

Like a child, he let himself sink down onto the soft, cool sand, chuckling as a put-out crab haphazardly crawled away, disturbed from its spot. Dean buried his hands in the earth, feeling the undertow beneath his fingers, and turned his face up toward the sky, closing his eyes. He was utterly content - something he could never remember being. 

_You don't belong here._

The thought came and went as quickly as it had appeared, and Dean opened his eyes, hunter's instincts rising as he looked around. But there was nothing except miles of empty beach, and he let his guard drop once again, his heartbeat pulsing in time with the ocean.

_This isn't your home. Return to where you are needed._

Dean's eyes flew open again, and this time, he noticed clouds beginning to gather on the horizon, steel-gray and threatening. Pushing himself to his feet, Dean watched as they grew darker, the wind picking up and whipping sand into his hair and face. 

The first bolt of lightning split the sky, followed by a low, dangerous peal of thunder. Knowing that being caught in a nasty storm without shelter was madness, he desperately looked around for signs of an outcropping or building where he could take cover. But there was nothing.

Helplessly, Dean watched as the clouds became thick and black, fat raindrops beginning to pound upon his head and shoulders, and he shivered at the sudden bitter wind off the water. 

_Come back to me._

The voice this time was barely a whisper, filled with heartbreak, and Dean paused in his retreat, feeling as though he should know who was speaking. It was a familiar, homey, comforting tone even through its pain. Suddenly he realized, with startling clarity, that something was very, very _wrong_ about where he was.

_Please, **l'amour.**_

"...Benny?" Dean whispered, and the sea rose, merciless and unforgiving, to take him under.

\---

It had been three days.

Three long, desperate, unfathomable days. Benny knew he should give Dean a proper hunter's burial - it was obvious that the man wasn't going to wake - but the mere thought of burning Dean's body had left the vampire choking over the side of his boat, bile splashing into the sea.

It was his fault.

He'd known what they were walking into, but as always, he hadn't been able to bring himself to say no to Dean. And now, though the nest was long since burned - going up in a conflagration of rage and grief without any survivors - he was left with nothing but sorrow and his own guilt.

For as many times that morning, Benny once again sat by the bed, gazing at Dean's still form. The hunter's skin was pale and cool to the touch, and the one scene Benny wished to hell and back would fucking leave his mind replayed like the horror movie it was: drinking from Dean, unable to stop himself, as Dean's grip on him grew weaker with every pull of his life's blood leaving his body. By the time he came to himself, the hunter was limp in his arms.

Benny bowed his head. As much as he tried, he could deny it no longer - he was a monster, one that had stolen the life of the person he cared for most.

He'd thought about giving up, but if there was a chance, however infinitesimal, that Dean would survive...Benny couldn't let him come around to his body rotting on the floor somewhere. No, he had to keep going; keep hoping.

Even if it was a fool's hope.

\---

The creaking of wood and the smell of brine reached Dean's nose, and his eyes flew open. Immediately, he winced at the light from the oil lamp hanging on its hook, dim though it was. There was no doubt he was back on Benny's trawler, if the way the bed gently rocked rhythmically beneath him was any indication. Shivering slightly under the pile of woolen blankets, Dean turned his head. 

Benny was slouched in his captain's chair next to the bed, his head resting on the top rung, and Dean realized with startling clarity that the vampire was actually asleep. 

For the remainder of the time he was afforded before Benny woke, Dean took to memorizing every feature of his friend's face - from the crow's feet at the corners of his eyes to the beard that seemed slightly fuller than he remembered. Even in sleep, Benny seemed older; exhausted, and Dean wondered with a sudden chill how long he had been AWOL from the land of the living.

Benny's eyes slipped open suddenly, as if knowing he was being watched. He blinked and turned, and his eyes grew almost comically wide.

"Hey," Dean offered softly.

"...Brother?"

"Yeah?" the hunter replied, almost questioningly, and Benny's hand trembled as he carefully reached out to touch the man's cheek. Dean allowed it, even as Benny's fingers slipped around his nape to pull him forward, their foreheads resting together.

"You're alive." Benny's voice sounded wrecked, and Dean whispered, "Yeah. I - I heard you. Calling for me. Wherever I was, I couldn't stay. I had to come back."

Small tremors coursed through the vampire's form. "I'm sorry. Jesus, I shoulda -"

"Not now, Benny. Can you - just let me have this, okay?"

A hoarse chuckle that sounded more like a broken sob forced its way out of Benny's throat. "Whatever you say, _sha._ "


	3. I Never Dreamed That I'd Meet Somebody Like You

Dean had asked for a few moments alone to clear his head, and Benny had been all too happy to oblige, too shaken to do much more than allow the hunter his space. He'd numbly headed above decks, and promptly lost the contents of his stomach to the waves until he was weak as a kitten, knuckles white where his hands gripped the rail.

"I thought vamps didn't toss their guts."

His friend's concerned voice was heard behind him, and Benny forced back another rush of nausea, wiping his mouth before turning to face Dean.

"Not a usual thing."

Dean waited, but when Benny didn't say anything else, he scrubbed a hand over his face and leaned against the wheelhouse. "You're running out. I checked."

"What, you invadin' my privacy now?" The sharp tone of his voice surprised even himself, and Dean frowned. 

"I just want to make sure you'll be okay until we make the next port."

"Well I'll be fine, thank ya very much, so you can quit motherin' me." Benny turned back to the sea, but he could still feel Dean's eyes upon his back, hard and hurt at the same time.

"You've got to be more careful, Benny. You should have stocked up better. The last thing we need is - "

"I said I was fine, God damn it!" Benny snarled, rounding on Dean, who took a step back, hands raised in a placating gesture. It took Benny a moment to realize his fangs were at full stretch, and he snapped his mouth shut, allowing them to retreat into his gum line, shocked at his own behavior.

"I'm not your enemy." Dean's voice was quiet, and he looked away. "If I didn't care, I wouldn't have said anything."

Benny swallowed. "I know. I'm sorry, brother."

Dean still refused to meet his gaze, shoulders slumped, and his next words tore the vampire's heart in two all over again.

"Maybe it would have been better for you if I didn't - if I wasn't here." Sad green eyes met his own. "I know what I put you through, Benny. I remember everything before I went...wherever the hell I went. You haven't had human blood for a long time."

"You tryin' to tell me you'd rather a' died?" Benny's voice was hollow. "What's done is done."

"Yeah, maybe, but if you start wanting to..." Dean made a slashing motion near his neck with his hand, and Benny shook his head slowly.

"I won't hurt ya, brother. Not again. Not ever again," he murmured, his eyes bitter with self-directed loathing. Dean sighed.

"You're a vampire, Benny. One that's currently got less than a week left of O positive. We've gotta dock somewhere in the next twenty-four hours. Where's the nearest place?"

"Port Saint John, New Brunswick," Benny replied tiredly. "We can make it by early mornin'."

"Are you sure?"

"I've been sailin' all my undead life, Dean. I'm sure."

\---

True to his word, Benny quietly pulled the trawler into Canada at first light, the stars still fighting with the dawn to retain their place in the sky. Dean was catching his four hours below him, and it gave Benny plenty of time to think - mostly about what had caused him to lose such control back in Maine.

It wasn't the blood per se, as much as Dean believed that to be the case. All vampires went crazy for it - that was part of the curse - but there had to be something in it for them; some high. Or, at least for the "civilized" ones, it was that way. Newborns and the starving had no rules.

And what frightened Benny the most was that night, he was neither a newborn nor starving. Which, in his estimation, left only one other option, an option that he didn't want to examine, but now had no choice but to look at square in the face. It wasn't Dean's blood he had wanted.

It had been the man himself. 

From the moment he had saved him in Purgatory, Benny had known that the dirty, sweaty, determined human with lightning in his eyes was going to be his downfall, and he had willingly jumped off that cliff. Certainly, becoming Dean's friend and hitching a ride back to Earth were two of the biggest perks, but Benny had quickly realized that there was far more to it than simply having someone around you could trust. As they hunted and grew closer, Benny had struggled to both understand and explain his feelings, and finally decided that it was worth it to shove the whole mess on the back burner before it boiled over into him saying something he couldn't take back. 

And then, just when Benny had resolved to keep everything under wraps for the rest of his existence, he'd gotten himself captured, Dean had tried to save his stupid ass, and all hell had broken loose.

Benny leaned forward and closed his eyes. if he concentrated hard enough - which was to say, not that hard since his senses were so attuned to the man -even now he could smell Dean, a mixture of clean sweat, subtle aftershave, and...

Benny's grip tightened on the wheel. Dean's heart pumped slowly in its state of slumber, the steady beat making the vampire sway with hunger. His primal side wanted nothing more than to go to the man's bedside and taste and take until his mouth was filled with the rich crimson liquid. He could _feel_ it coating his tongue, and saliva pooled in his mouth, the tips of his fangs descending as he imagined-

"Stop it," Benny whispered to himself in desperation. "This ain't you."

"Since when did you start talking to yourself?" Dean's heavy voice met his ears, half amused, as he yawned slightly. "Only the insane do that, you know."

_The insane,_ Benny thought, _and the damned._


	4. I Never Dreamed That I'd Lose Somebody Like You

Dean had been complaining of his rumbling stomach the entire time Benny had secured his trawler and they had ventured into the capital city of Fredericton, and at last the vampire turned to him, exasperated.

"You always this annoyin'?"

Dean flashed him a brilliant grin that nearly sent Benny to his knees. "You tell me."

Benny snorted. "I'm not gonna dignify that with an answer, brother."

"Oh, come on," Dean chuckled. "Gotta keep well-fed to stay quick on my feet."

_Fed._ The word made Benny's hands begin to shake, and he shoved them into the pockets of his pea coat, snarling at the voice in his mind that was howling for blood to just fucking **_stay quiet._** Dean looked down.

"Are you cold?" he asked softly, all traces of playfulness gone, and Benny nodded tersely, not lying. It was common knowledge to most hunters that a vampire's body temperature dropped drastically when they needed blood, and Dean's jaw set in a tight line as his shoulder brushed his friend's. "We have to get you what we came here for, and soon."

Benny stumbled at the man's closeness, and quickly moved away. "Don' touch me," he barked, eliciting curious stares from a few people walking by. Dean eyed him.

"That's it," he said lowly. "You find a place we can hole up in. I'll look around and-"

"Yeah," Benny said hoarsely, eyes darting through the crowds, and Dean snapped his fingers in front of his eyes. Benny blinked, returning his gaze to his friend, whose own eyes were boring a hole into him.

"Do I have to go with you first." It wasn't a question, and Benny swallowed with difficulty. "I'm fine."

"Like hell you are." Dean spoke out of the corner of his mouth. "I don't want to read something in the papers."

"You won't if ya get me what I gotta have," Benny said thickly, and added softly, so softly that Dean could barely hear him, "Please hurry, brother."

\---

Benny barely got into the room he'd secured for them before locking the door and leaning against it, his breathing coming sharp and uneven. When he turned to head for the bed, the world tipped on its axis, and he landed hard on his knees, fingers clawing at the carpet. The thirst was all-consuming, and he nearly bit through his tongue in an effort not to scream, back arched as the pain hit. Every inch of his skin tightened around his bones, and sweat clung to his skin in a fine sheen.

He was dying, and this time it would be a permanent demise.

\---

"Benny? Benny, don't you dare, you goddamn asshole!" Dean snapped. "Come on!"

With great effort, the vampire focused hazy eyes on his friend. Barely able to speak, he whispered, "Gimme it."

Dean swallowed hard, guilt crashing through him in tidal waves. "I'm so sorry, Benny. I tried, but there were too many people around. I couldn't get to anything. I'll go back tonight-"

Despair washed over Benny. He must have made a pitiful sound, because Dean's hand was suddenly caressing his face, fingers curling around the back of his neck. 

"Shh," he tried to soothe, knowing that by nightfall, it would be too late for Benny. A lump formed in his throat knowing that once again, he had failed someone he cared for.

"Can't-" Benny twisted weakly. "Dean-"

"Don't talk."

Benny could not seem to convey what he desperately had to - that Dean's wrist was far too close to his mouth, close enough that should he desire, he could -

"Hey!" Dean's voice was alarmed. The vampire had an iron grip on the hunter's wrist, and Dean attempted to calm his racing heart - a heart that was currently thrumming under Benny's fingers.

"Benny, you're better than this," he said, braver than he felt at the moment. "Last time was different, but-"

Instead of replying, Benny held him tighter. Dean nearly stopped breathing when the vampire's eyes met his own, sky blue turned nearly indigo with hunger. 

And then Benny sank his fangs into Dean's veins.

\---

The cry of pain Dean gave made little difference to Benny. Sweet, thick _life_ poured down his throat, and he swallowed greedily, obeying without question the voice that screamed _**more**_ until - 

Sated and shaking, the vampire pulled away, slowly returning to his senses. Dean's injured groan hit his ears immediately.

The hunter's wrist was torn and bloodied, all color having left his face as he sat slumped against the nearest bed. Dean jumped in fear when Benny took hold of his wrist again.

"Jus' stay still."

"Don't, Benny. Please." Dean's voice was rough; begging. Shame filled the vampire to the core of his being. 

"I ain't gonna hurt ya no more," Benny whispered, and tore a strip of cloth from the coverlet, wrapping the wound as carefully as he could. He couldn't bear to see the hatred in his friend's eyes, and quickly rose once the job was done, heading for the bathroom. Once ensconced in its safety, the vampire slid to the floor and wept bitterly.


	5. What A Wicked Game To Play, To Make Me Feel This Way

Dean had seen the anguish in Benny's eyes as he'd realized what he'd done, but the soft, lonely sounds coming from behind the bathroom door was something Dean hadn't anticipated. He knew he shouldn't have cared - after all, he'd almost been killed not five minutes ago - but to hear Benny's regret and pain made his insides twist up in knots. He knew what it was to be a monster, he reasoned, and quietly knocked on the wood.

There was sudden silence.

"Benny?" Dean tried, but received no reply. He sighed. "Benny, unless you locked this door, I'm coming in."

The handle turned easily, and Dean stepped inside the large bathroom to find Benny curled up against the wall, head buried in his arms, which were resting on his knees. He didn't move as Dean crouched beside him, but when the man placed a hand on his shoulder, the vampire started to tremble. 

"Jus' get it over with," he whispered.

"Get what over with?" And then it hit Dean like a brick. "You think I'm gonna kill you?"

Benny lifted his head to look at Dean. His words were broken. "You're really gonna let me live? After what I jus' did to ya? You shoulda brought that damn machete in here and-"

"Benny, stop," Dean said firmly, then, gentler, "Stop blaming yourself. It was an accident."

"An accident? Dean, runnin' a stoplight's an accident. What I did..." Benny's eyes became pools of liquid, threatening to spill over. "It ain't forgivable."

"Everyone deserves mercy, Benny," Dean said quietly. "Even you."

"Why are ya still here? I'm nothin' to ya. Just a monster that hitched a ride back to a life he don't even know if he wants anymore." 

Those words hit the sticking point, and Dean swallowed tightly. "That's not true. I care about you."

Benny turned away. "You don' gotta lie to me, Dean. Even if ya do, it's only gonna be so long 'fore I disappoint ya again. Jus'...jus' lemme be."

"No. No, I'm not going to - damn it, _look at me_." Dean grabbed the vampire by his shoulders and spun him around, and though he'd expected it, the trail of tears slowly tracking down Benny's cheek hurt Dean worse than any weapon ever could. Carefully, he brushed them away with his knuckles, Benny's jaw trembling beneath his hand.

"Benny, I care," Dean repeated, softer this time. ""You might be a stubborn ass at the best of times, but you're my friend. I'm not leaving you."

Even as he said the word, a little voice in the back of Dean's mind viciously called him a liar. He recalled the female vampire's revelation in Ogunquit.

" _You love him_."

When Dean looked back, it might have been Benny's sorrowful expression, the way he flinched as Dean spoke, or the hunter's need to comfort the only creature left that had vowed to stay by his side - or he had finally grown tired of hiding. Whatever the case, before he gave himself any more time to think on it, Dean had leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to Benny's lips.


	6. What A Wicked Thing To Do, To Let Me Dream of You

**Two Weeks Later**

Benny quietly pulled on his pea coat and glanced at Dean. The man lay sprawled in the sheets, his head half buried under a pillow as he snored softly, one arm hanging off the mattress. He wouldn't wake for hours, and that was exactly the time Benny needed to get himself as far away from Dean as possible, before he did any more damage.

Dean hadn't mentioned the kiss since it had occurred. Initially, after it had happened, they'd both stared at each other in something like shock before Dean had quickly risen to his feet, murmuring something about going out for a while. He'd returned three hours later, heavily drunk, and promptly fell into bed without a word, leaving Benny feeling more alone than ever. 

Fredericton was quiet as he walked soundlessly down its streets. The early Sunday chill grew deeper with every step that took him away from Dean, clinging to his very bones. At last he stood on the docks, staring down at the river.

"Don't do it."

Benny looked around. Beside him was a pretty brunette, her long hair wrapping around her face in the brisk wind. 

"Don't do it," she repeated, sadness on her face. "It's not worth it."

"I wasn't gonna-"

"It doesn't matter the mode. Whatever you were thinking of doing, stop." She paused. "My fiance drowned in this river. He decided that life hurt too much to keep going, and so he...just didn't." She drew a breath. "Today would have been our one year anniversary."

Benny suddenly saw the pretty diamond on her finger, and his chest filled with a terrible ache. "I'm so sorry, darlin'."

Tears fell unchecked down her cheeks. "Thank you, but sorry won't bring him back. He needed something I didn't know how to give him at that time."

"What?" Benny asked gently, and she replied, "Unconditional love. If I could return to the past and fix what was broken, I would. But it's too late for us." 

A harsh, hard lump filled Benny's throat, and wet, penetrating brown eyes met his own as she turned.

"I'm guessing you still have someone that feels about you the way I should have felt about him. If you've ever cared about them at all, don't make them suffer. Go back." She caught his hand, squeezing it. 

"You only run out of chances if you stop taking them," she whispered. 

Benny swallowed tightly, but no words would come. She smiled sadly, reaching up to gently touch his cheek, her hand lingering.

"There's always something worth fighting for."

Benny watched as she walked away down the dock in the soft rain that had begun to fall, until her form had vanished in the mist. There was only one thing he could do.

\---

"Where the hell have you been?" Dean fumed. "I woke up and you were gone - no note, no call, nothing! What's so important at seven in the morning on a damn Sunday?"

When he didn't get a reply, Dean paused. "Benny?" he asked, soft and uncertain.

"I know what I am," the vampire said quietly. "I don' expect ya to give me nothin'."

"Benny, what's going on? What are you besides a vamp?" Dean stepped forward hesitantly. 

"Jus' a monster," Benny said, and the tremble in his voice was plain to hear. "Irredeemable, lost, an' broken. I ain't worth givin' a second chance to. I ain't done nothin' but hurt ya, an' I'm sorry." Benny's gaze met his, a thin film of tears covering his blue eyes. "I don' wanna lose you too," he whispered. "I jus' - I'm tryin' to hold on to what I can, and it's all goin' through my fingers."

Dean was there the instant Benny's knees hit the floor, wrapping his arms tightly around his friend.

"Hey. I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here, understand? Benny, there isn't anything you can do to push me away."

"Nothin' I can - I bit ya," Benny said miserably. "Twice. An' now..."

Dean pulled back slightly. "Now, what?" he said, but when the answer came, he realized he had already been expecting it.

"Now I can't get ya outta my skull or my chest. An' your blood..." Benny shut his eyes. "It keeps callin' me," he murmured. "An' I don' want it to stop."


	7. The World Was On Fire

Dean didn't know what to make of Benny's confession. The afternoon crept on as he read through Vonnegut once again in the chair by the window, stealing glances at the vampire occasionally. Benny was stretched out on the lone bed, one booted foot crossed over the other. His eyes were closed, but Dean wasn't stupid. 

Eventually, the hunter laid the book aside and drew a breath, but before he could speak, Benny sat up.

"We ain't discussin' this mornin'."

Dean's jaw tightened. "So you're planning on ignoring me all day, then?"

Blue eyes were suddenly holding him in place. "I've never ignored ya, an' you know it."

"That's not-"

"Yeah, it is," Benny interrupted, very quietly. "But I ain't no fool, Dean. Your heart don't belong to me, an' it never will."

Dean suddenly found himself standing over Benny, though how he'd gotten there, he couldn't say. He could feel his pulse racing, but it wasn't because he was scared. He was _angry_ ; angry as shit. 

"You stupid fucker," he ground out, and Benny blinked, taken aback. Dean just kept going.

"For all your improved senses, obviously your head didn't catch the common sense train. You've been sacrificing every damn thing since we got back topside. EVERYTHING, Benny. Your old nestmates, Andrea, Elizabeth - when is it going to stop? When will you start thinking of yourself?"

"My nestmates weren't gonna-"

"Forget the nestmates and focus on the fucking point!" Dean shouted, and gave Benny a rough shove. "I'm sick of hearing about how unworthy you are!"

Benny's eyes had turned dark, and he'd crowded Dean against the wall faster than the human eye could see, snarling.

"How unworthy _I_ am? Who's the one that has a list o' Daddy issues a mile and a half long, huh? Who can't stand to think 'bout the fact that without his lil' brother, life ain't worth livin' for him? Who let a demon send his ass to Hell and spent forty years there tryin' to be stronger than everyone else, just 'cause he loved that lil' brother too much? Do I need to keep goin'?" Benny leaned in as he growled low in his throat, "Looks like I ain't the one with a self-esteem problem."

"Are you gonna keep talking, or are you gonna kiss me?"

The question made Benny's pupils dilate until there was only a fraction of blue left. "Not a good idea right now to be pushin' my patience."

"This doesn't have a damn thing to do with patience, Lafitte," Dean snapped. He was nearly fully hard, but he didn't care if Benny felt it. "This is about what's going on between us. You've wanted me since Purgatory. You think I haven't seen your eyes wandering when you thought I wasn't looking? I'm not fucking blind."

Dean's rage was rolling off him in waves, his unique, all-too-human scent mixed in with the pheromones of arousal, which were becoming stronger by the minute. Benny's hands tightened into fists. _I won't._

He must have said the words aloud, because Dean quickly hooked a leg around his left knee, and now the vampire could clearly feel the evidence of the man's erection against his thigh. 

"Yes, you will."

When Dean's mouth landed on his, it was nothing like the soft, unsure kiss they had shared days earlier. This was brutal; a passionate attack of lips and teeth as Dean seamlessly invaded Benny's mouth, his tongue flicking over the sensitive areas of his gum line where his fangs lay hidden, and then Dean's hips rolled against Benny's, slow and teasing.

One of Benny's still-clenched fists landed hard against the plaster beside Dean's head, making the decorative shelf above them wobble precariously. In the next instant, Dean had opened their flys and taken them both in hand, stroking with purpose while his thumb slipped over Benny's cockslit. And the vampire couldn't stand it anymore.

Dean released a moan when Benny's mouth attached itself to his neck, his dick weeping copiously.

"Tell me you ain't afraid." Benny's words were muffled.

"I'm not afraid," Dean said roughly, and turned his head to give Benny better access. "Never been afraid."

"Tell me you want it."

"Jesus Christ, Benny, would you just-"

" **Tell me.** "

"I want it."

The sting of fangs in his neck was quickly forgotten as Benny took Dean's hand in his own, and for a few moments there was only the sound of their labored breathing and occasional grunts. The entire episode was no longer about slinging insults or trying to heal old wounds with careless words. It was about the five senses: Benny's pea coat covering their shared intimacy; Dean's raspy breaths as they raced each other to completion; the scent of sea and saltwater that hung in the air around them; the sweet life force that Benny drank; and the slip-slide of pleasure.

It was Benny who came first, breaking into a rapid string of Cajun that ended on a gasp. Dean followed after almost immediately, and for a long time neither of them moved while they panted and shook in each others' arms.

Dean pulled back after a bit, his green eyes fixed on Benny's face.

"Are we good now?" he breathed out.

Benny leaned his damp forehead against Dean's, willing his legs to hold him up for just a few minutes longer until they could get to the bed.

"Yeah," he chuckled weakly. "We're good."


End file.
